I’ve been discussion lately with my best mate and others from school, that however enduring/tiring/rewarding/hilarious/banging-head-against-the-wall-frustrating/enjoyable/paradoxical (:P) our job is, it is not exactly bursting with mental stimulation. And as I have the tendency to do, I’ve been coming home and obsessing over this. At present I have no creative outlet and I fear my brain is beginning to melt. The academia and theatricality of life in Brisbane has been replaced with a slightly more debaucherous and definitely more entertaining life in London. However as previously mentioned I do fear for my brain. So how does one regain creative control over one’s brain? Blogging, you ask? A feeble attempt at creativity surely? But I know in myself, when I write only for myself I become indulgent and obsessive… well more so than when I am aware of an audience.
When I look at where I am right now, living in London town, in a job I love, with THE most amazing friends imaginable with whom I embark on many random and entertaining adventures, I find myself (when in a slightly philosophical mood) pondering the events that enabled me to end up in this wonderful position. I’m not sure whether I believe in fate, or coincidence, or things happening for a reason and I certainly don’t believe in an all knowing god controlling everything. I’m more inclined to think that things just are. There is a quote in the book I am currently reading that makes me feel this is often how I view the world too. “The random ordering of the world, the unimaginable odds against any particular condition, still please him…at every instant, a trillion trillion possible futures; the pickiness of pure chance and physical law seemed like freedom from the scheming of a gloomy god.” Ian McEwan Saturday. (A book I recommend to everyone). To me it’s like playing the “what if?” game. “What if I did this instead of that, how would my life be different?” Nonetheless things just are and I’m so grateful for the events I liken to significant in placing me at where I am in the world now. It’s not getting the internship, almost taking a job in Japan, then it falling through, deciding London will do, accepting the job at Turney and going to that particular party. So why not say thank you to the universe for its random ordering and the trillion possible futures falling into place.
Of course it’s not only the big events that impact the course of ones life and really when one thinks about it, the smalls things are just as important as those large, defining, significant events in life. Were there to be only big events in life, they would no longer exist as significant if there was nothing to compare it to. To be able distinguish that things are truly significant, we should therefore not trivialise the little things and instead regard them as extraordinary in themselves. So I am taking a moment to recognise some of my small extraordinary moments that never fail to make me smile. (This is in fact my current favourite topic of writing.) It’s the photos of ridiculous events, that seem more ridiculous upon reliving them through sober eyes. The stomach aching, tear inducing, impossible to stop random fits of laughter shared with friends. I love my morning walks to schools shared with my iPod and my afternoon walks home shared with my best mate. It’s waking up ridiculously hungover from a massive night previous and realising it’s only Saturday and you still have the whole weekend ahead of you. Reading and/or posting witty status updates with just as witty or wittier replies from friends. Complaining about the fucking weather in London, then complaining about constantly complaining about the weather, but secretly getting a great deal of pleasure at being able to bag the god-forsaken climate. And then on the very rare occasion the sun does peep through the clouds, taking a book to the park and appreciating that sun so much more.
I’m sure I will find more to write about shortly.
